God is the glue to a good marraige

Regular column-writer Pastor Gerrit Mes

Marriage is under attack!

The statistics relating to divorce are not really an indication of the state of the institution of marriage. I often wonder why so many people get married and then get divorced. Do people get married with the idea of if it does not work we will just get divorced? Or maybe people just don’t have perseverance? Do we have a generation of quitters? I have officiated at hundreds of weddings and have experienced the emotion as a bride walks down the aisle. It is sheer, indescribable magic.

After lots of thought on the subject, I think I have identified the biggest enemy to marriage and any other relationship. Love is important, respect is essential, but not even love and respect can survive the power of habits.

A habit is a routine, a custom or a pattern. Newlyweds are normally in the habit of showing appreciation, affection and adoration. It is a habit – you do it without thinking. But in time, many people neglect these habits and replace them with other habits. Couples get into the habit of finding fault, and failing to show appreciation. Little things like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are lost.

I have been married for 37 years and I believe the key to a great marriage is simply practicing good habits. Showing appreciation, affection and adoration is God’s glue for true love.

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